I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
