I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
