He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
