well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
