No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
