Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
