remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
