My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
