I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
