Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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