i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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