Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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