I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i was born a porn star she said
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
