Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
