Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
