wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
