grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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