Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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