ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
