It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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