at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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