xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
