Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
