hell yes lets make some ravioli
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
