She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
