I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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