Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.