what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
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I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
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I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar