Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.