he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion