Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis