oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
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You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
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I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.