playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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