My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
