remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
