Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
