I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think i have herpe
just one?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
