I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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