I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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