your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
