As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Dear god my vagina.
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