I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
