I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
