Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
She's allergic to latex.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?