they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.