Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.

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  (801): I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials. http://tfl.nu/rax4
  Replies (19) Good night (3430) Bad night (713)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.

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  (410): I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night. http://tfl.nu/vy3a
  Replies (31) Good night (7220) Bad night (883)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid

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  (314): I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid http://tfl.nu/zczt
  Replies (35) Good night (1657) Bad night (3256)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.

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  (940): I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night. http://tfl.nu/ldko
  Replies (16) Good night (932) Bad night (3605)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.

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  (320): I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it. http://tfl.nu/sdid
  Replies (11) Good night (5636) Bad night (1380)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper

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  (856): Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper http://tfl.nu/7rbt
  Replies (48) Good night (1237) Bad night (8203)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.

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  (480): Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath. http://tfl.nu/qi8i
  Replies (9) Good night (3669) Bad night (1186)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.

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  (248): either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her. http://tfl.nu/6guc
  Replies (10) Good night (4616) Bad night (1242)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.

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  (512): Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge. http://tfl.nu/qm3g
  Replies (21) Good night (3479) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.

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  (+44): I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode. http://tfl.nu/646n
  Replies (8) Good night (1966) Bad night (1506)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.

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  (618): some guy just burried his vomit in the sand. http://tfl.nu/hqvi
  Replies (7) Good night (1345) Bad night (1002)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.

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  (315): We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked. http://tfl.nu/mwis
  Replies (4) Good night (1966) Bad night (464)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses

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  (802): I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses http://tfl.nu/9pm9
  Replies (4) Good night (795) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.

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  (760): I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally. http://tfl.nu/7t3l
  Replies (6) Good night (595) Bad night (361)
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  (714): View more from California

  I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?

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  (714): I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot? http://tfl.nu/k7t2
  Replies (3) Good night (199) Bad night (505)

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