Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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