maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
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people are starting to question the shark bite story
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
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So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left