Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1

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  (610): He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1 http://tfl.nu/y50i
  Replies (17) Good night (6782) Bad night (1796)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out

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  (989): you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out http://tfl.nu/f2m2
  Replies (24) Good night (1109) Bad night (5850)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night

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  (203): I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night http://tfl.nu/hkfs
  Replies (43) Good night (10306) Bad night (3212)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Are you pooping in the stall next to me?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Maybe....

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.

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  (540): Are you pooping in the stall next to me? (404): Maybe.... (540): Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts. http://tfl.nu/wph3
  Replies (82) Good night (4564) Bad night (5325)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?

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  (617): so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic? http://tfl.nu/c421
  Replies (60) Good night (1439) Bad night (6995)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.

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  (860): Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them. http://tfl.nu/f4br
  Replies (22) Good night (5787) Bad night (1131)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.

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  (609): I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke. http://tfl.nu/ibe5
  Replies (11) Good night (1057) Bad night (4053)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.

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  (609): promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant. http://tfl.nu/llpo
  Replies (5) Good night (2046) Bad night (1503)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.

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  (248): You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual. http://tfl.nu/weeh
  Replies (4) Good night (2671) Bad night (885)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?

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  (918): It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar? http://tfl.nu/u4v8
  Replies (5) Good night (756) Bad night (1469)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.

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  (503): Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination. http://tfl.nu/nd2x
  Replies (7) Good night (1653) Bad night (602)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.

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  (405): All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before. http://tfl.nu/9m83
  Replies (9) Good night (658) Bad night (1457)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.

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  (304): My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time. http://tfl.nu/ngqr
  Replies (2) Good night (1245) Bad night (321)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that

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  (301): I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that http://tfl.nu/4t9g
  Replies (2) Good night (286) Bad night (378)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk

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  (937): The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk http://tfl.nu/zlrw
  Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (209)

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