Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong

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(908): Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong http://tfl.nu/68mo

Replies (3) Good night (2585) Bad night (559)
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(760): View more from California

i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.

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(760): i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel. http://tfl.nu/n5cq

Replies (177) Good night (5177) Bad night (5014)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.

(803): View more from South Carolina

kinda like you and your friends.

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(931): dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny. (803): kinda like you and your friends. http://tfl.nu/yef0

Replies (14) Good night (788) Bad night (2290)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.

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(803): Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar. http://tfl.nu/zuya

Replies (29) Good night (8557) Bad night (997)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.

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(610): i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub. http://tfl.nu/fmmx

Replies (33) Good night (1497) Bad night (6015)
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(214): View more from Texas

That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

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(214): That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed. http://tfl.nu/6ncx

Replies (5) Good night (4529) Bad night (941)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.

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(319): Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now. http://tfl.nu/g0lg

Replies (5) Good night (3681) Bad night (1092)
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(334): View more from Alabama

Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.

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(334): Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions. http://tfl.nu/wk8c

Replies (1) Good night (1331) Bad night (704)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.

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(270): No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife. http://tfl.nu/ovxt

Replies (4) Good night (1917) Bad night (919)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.

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(785): I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be. http://tfl.nu/axzh

Replies (7) Good night (453) Bad night (805)
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(317): View more from Indiana

In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.

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(317): In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude. http://tfl.nu/kqtp

Replies (6) Good night (1666) Bad night (527)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"

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(215): You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!" http://tfl.nu/4gma

Replies (2) Good night (401) Bad night (592)
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(330): View more from Ohio

im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.

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(330): im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me. http://tfl.nu/dfjj

Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (285)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status

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(308): Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status http://tfl.nu/i9jh

Replies (0) Good night (580) Bad night (340)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Lord god protect this child

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(770): Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me (603): Lord god protect this child http://tfl.nu/t9s3

Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (273)

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