Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
