in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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