in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize