Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
