Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
