I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
