Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
