Cold hands, warm shart.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
