you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
