Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
