I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
