he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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