How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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