he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
