the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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