??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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