New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
