Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
